How to make a DM happy (and what that gets you)
July 27, 2006
Every year the fat cat corporation I work for has some kind of “summer contest”. As far as I can tell this involves: selling as many “stars of hopeforcharitybutitfeelslikewe’rejustpeddlingthemforourownbenefit” as possible, attacking customers with upselling and combos (which is a smaller part of the larger), checker reports, and the visit from god himself: the DM.
As far as I can tell, the DM just….wanders around to all the different cinemas that he manages and demands that everything be pristine or, of course, the world will come crashing down. I mean seriously, it’s obviously horrible to have some grease on a doorhinge, I mean it’s not just there to make it move smoother or anything. But what do I know, I’m no Mr. Shaw.
So the GM, the lazy bum, is having all of us, the underpaid, overworked, and miserable, do all of the cleaning and “shape up our acts” or we might get written up. No really. If you’re an usher you have the worst of it. Believe me, ushering isn’t easy, we do, and most people agree with me, have the hardest job there, in terms of floor staff. But even projection doesn’t happen to top the notch on hardest job because it’s so damn easy if you have the necessary expertise. Nor does the job of the GM because that seems to limit itself to few hours, chosen mostly, and abandonment of the employees; not to mention the annoying amount of disrespect, mistrust, not backing his people in the face of a customer, failing to repair the broken objects (and AIR CONDITIONER in the PROJECTION BOOTH, not only making it hell for the worker, but hell for the film) and making Bob telleveryonewhattodobecausehehasnobackbone. But I digress. The ushers take the meat of the beating. Sure the consessionists have to DRY a SINK at the end of the night, and there is a pointless war going on between a manager and…everyone else, but the ushers must, under pain of death: mop box, concession (the job of the CONCESSIONIST which he haphazardly took away to give to the grumbling ushers), and the breakroom; take out ALL trash including outside, the OFFICE, box, concession, and the kitchen; clean out all DUST PANS at the end of the night; and basically be a bitch for everyone else’s whim and fancy. Yep, the ushers are being stomped on, beaten with a vacuum, and hung out to dry in Hell’s projection booth.
Ah, and we all get mantinance shifts this week to make things pretty for Shaw. That leaves me with, oh, 4 hours of sleep each night for the last two nights.
Oh, and, as I am a associate manager who isn’t treated like one at all, I get to go to that Sexual Harassment meeting tomorrow two hours away. I’m excited.
Are you wondering what is achieved by making the dear, kind, lovely and courageous DM happy? The good for nothing GM gets a raise and a bonus. The people who did all the work as he snuck out of the building roughly 3 hours before he said he would get…get ready for it….ready? A happy GM.
Gee, I sure love my life right now.
